It's so surprising.

I am actually surprised how I am not taken aback by the concept "change" in life. One day I might be the apple in your eye, who can guarantee the next I'll still be the same? From an ordinary friend, you can even be the love of my life the next day. Who can actually come out and guarantee me things like this won't happen?

Every time I hear of the word change, it brings a sour memory, a spine chilling one. I used to ask, how can someone do a 360 turn within a day. How can they put up a play so well. Was that a facade they are wearing or is it their true self. Truth is, no one knows better other than themselves. Situations and feelings or maybe judgements make all of us change. And who knows, maybe that's their true self that they decided not to show? Who can tell, really?

Behind all these fake smiles, shed tears and maybe a tough appearance, I can be sure to that everyone at some point of their lives is fighting a hard battle. Who knows again, maybe this is why they decided to change? Or maybe this is why they need to change, regardless of their liking. As a component or a passer by in their lives, it's easy to give a judgement. Who are we really to judge? We don't even know how high is the risk they are risking and how high the stake is.

And who knows, maybe at this point in life, friends who used to be close depart because they are no longer on the same page. He might think that friendship is important, and she might think a career is all she is after. Is that then considered as a change? Can they still be friends?

When I get caught up in situations like this, all I ever learnt or will do is, give it a moment of silence, shed a tear if I need to and really wish for the best. I'll do whatever I can to try to be there for you and show you I care, but in the end is all up to the other party. I can't be fighting this battle alone.

And if one day you decided you need someone to talk to, just drop me a text, and maybe a call. I'll be happy to answer your calls. I will be lying to myself if I said there's no slight of disappointment and frustration when things end bad like this. As for the time being, I think it's best for me to not say anything, because I really don't know what to say to make both of us feel  better.

Thank you for all the times you were there when I needed someone. 

All The Love From February

Goodbye February, Hello March. 

A real update this time as promise. 

Celebrating Choon Lim's aka Boss 21st Birthday.

BS2 in addition of my sister actually made it to Lemon Garden in Shangri-la Hotel. 

After endless attempts, I think the plan finally became a dinner after the 5th time?

Although it was not the complete 16 of us, but it was a good night. 

Good food and good company. 

With all of them, the teasing and crapping never grows old. 

House hopping with the fellow BS2.

It actually felt like the good old road trips we do every year. 

We were actually supposed to go for a 3 day 2 nights trip to Penang, 

But, we didn't make it :( 

House hopping was actually quite fun. 

2 days 9 person's house! 

The driving, talking, gambling and eating :D 

What other way to end your Chinese New Year?

Found one of the best Chilli Pan Mee I ever tasted. 

Whats the best part of it? It's only 15 minutes drive from home. 

When it comes to good food and long drive, I'll aways frown. 

So double yums :D 

Unexpected mail in the mail box. 

I was actually quite surprised to see this :) 

& very touched too. 

Although this is not the perfect gift but oh well, it was enough to make me happy ;) 

What is that huh?

It's actually a handmade card :D

Just the way I like it.

Nobody sends out paper cards anymore, everyone is using e-mails and e-cards.

I like it the old school way. 

Valentine's Gift from a good friend :) 

I actually wasn't expecting this, felt so happy when she handed it over to me. 

& what's better than having a friend to buy you something?

She actually bought you chocolates that you love :) 

The dark chocolate was awesome. 

Nomsnoms.

Went for Fion's Belated 21st Surprise Birthday lunch. 

Although the surprise was a little fail, I hope you enjoyed yourself. 

& thank you for lunch. 

Just so you know, I love to tease you & you know you'll have my back if you need something.

It was good for spending the afternoon talking to people you spend your high school with. 

And of course saying goodbye to Jia Min that left for Australia. 

First road trip with the people from Taylor's School of Pharmacy. 

I actually made a post on this already :) 

Nevertheless, I would like to say thank you to Su Kee for having us over. 

The food, the company and all the talking was irreplaceable. 

Chicken Piccata with Mash Potatoes @ Paddington House of Pancake.

I think this was the only lunch I had with Janine since she came back from Melbourne in Dec.

Oh well, at least this year was a little different, house hopping with Janine and the other girls.

It has been sometimes, really. Missing the good old things we do with the other guys too.

Too bad I had to leave earlier that day because I had law test the next week.

Lunch was awesome because we ended it with good dessert.

Who can say no to a good dessert?

Our mini treasure box to end the lunch. 

Seriously, who can say no to pancakes?

Omnomnoms. 

Steamboat @ Nelayan Village, Sunway Giza. 

Steamboat, yums. If I were to asked to eat steamboat everyday, I think I'll never grow bored. 

With who this time?

With my awesome future pharmacist friends from Taylor's SOP. 

Food was good, especially the grilled lamb :) 

Yeap, it is steamboat + bbq. 

Noms. 

I think I am blessed with this bunch of friends because they love steamboat as much as I do. 

Winter in Cardiff + steamboat = Perfect life :) 

Ending this post with a blast. 

This is not in february, it was on 2nd of March. 

Clubbing with the future pharmacist from Taylor's SOP at Vertigo,The Gardens. 

Before this I would say clubbing is just so-so.

But with this bunch of girls, we take things to the next level :) 

Half a semester of stress from Pharmacy School gone in a night.

I was actually drinking so much till I had a sore throat now. 

& what's more shocking was I was actually dancing to the loud booming beats. 

Oh well, I don't really care about how awkward I was dancing, because of all the fun I had. 

To cope up with so much in life, now you know why I barely update this site. 

Especially with the fact I am leaving in like half a year. 

Because Sometimes

My favorite tumblr site just updated after 5 months of break <3 

Yes. I was that desperate every now and then to check on it in that 5 months. 

After all, it's my favorite tumblr site :) 

Oh well, just sharing something that I feel occasionally now and then :) 

The situation above applies. 

I promise a real update will be coming up soon. 

Been too caught up with school and life. 

Toodles, love. 

Of Sea Breeze & A Whole Sky Sprinkled With Stars

Last weekend was rather productive. 

Went on a road trip with the girls from Taylor's School of Pharmacy! 

My first road trip with them and with so many girls. 

Destination was Port Dickson! 

Our main purpose of going was actually to celebrate Su Kee's 21st. 

Sidelines was the sea breeze, beach and sky filled with stars. 

The thing I love about road trips its the long car rides;

The music shuffling from the iPod and just the no-sense-made talking ;) 

And of course when we are at a destination; the food. 

Port Dickson is a rather small town. 

I don't think I'll survive there. Too used to city life as I grew up a city girl. 

A getaway for the weekends is rather fun. 

I was actually so happy to see the tiffany blue sea water and feel the sea breeze. 

& of course if I have a chance, lay down on the sand and watch the stars twinkle.

As scary as it looks, 

I also love how far the sea can stretch out and how black it is :) 

And on that night, the moon was creepily close to the Earth and it was red. 

Some guy hiding in some bush might just turn into a werewolf. 

Sorry for the blur quality, it was taken during the iPhone camera. 

For the first time in my life, I actually witnessed the moon rising ;) 

All this experience that I can't see in the city life. 

I guess staying in a small town isn't all bad? ;) 

On Sunday morning we actually made our way up to Seremban. 

Breakfast was dim sum. 

I love dim sum but back in KL; I never get to eat them, because I always wake up too late.

Dim sum was good and cheap. 

I think I am never going to eat dim sum back in KL anymore. 

It's so expensive here ;\

Whats after dim sum?

Of course the famous Seremban Siew Pau. 

It was so good; but I only bought 2. 

Should have bought more :( 

The others that eats beef actually went for beef noodles. 

I didn't try, not a big fan of beef though :\

But according to Abigail it was good and rather different. 

So I guess everyone was happy with the food then :D 

P/s: I cannot wait to try out Kolo Mee from Kuching. 

Glorious pork noodles ;D as claimed from Kimberly. 

Just for the laugh;

This is what we did in the apartment when we couldn't lock the door. 

Caught Up In The Moment

Sincerely, I would like to apologize for the lack of update.

How's everyone out there?

Chinese New Year is coming to an end. 

My Chinese New Year is well spent.

The last CNY before I leave for the UK this year end. 

Correct me if I am wrong, 

Time this year is breezing by even faster than the previous years.

I've been counting down the months that I'll leave home. 

Too many things and too many people I wanna see before I leave. 

Hence, I am here to pronounce that this blog will be rather dusty. 

I have been living in the moment for far too long. 

Too reluctant to take a break from the life I have now to update this site. 

My first lou sang of the year. 

Am really a big fan of the lou sang, I think I can eat this everyday. 

Haven't been eating much of this actually. 

Just for entertainment purpose I'll share what rituals my dad will recite;

You know how you're supposed to recite stuff like "earn more money, better grades"

Stuff my dad recites when I went for dinner with the other day was;

"Study harder, but don't forget to socialize, faster go find boyfriend and may you be blessed with someone who loves you equally as much as us, your parents. & please use your big eyes to see before you commit"

I think I have the weirdest and coolest parents on earth. 

Love them to the tiny bits <3

I would like to mark down this year's reunion dinner. 

Not that I ate dragon meat, (since it's the year of the dragon)

I actually had candle lit reunion dinner. 

I know it sounded really weird but I couldn't even open my eyes and eat in the dining hall.

Blame the LASIK surgery for it. 

& to update you guys about my life also, new year with new vision ;) 

Glasses and contact lens, off you go. 

I am still having this weird post surgery habit. 

Sometimes I wake up feeling really tired then I'll go "I'll grab glasses and attend class"

Feels super weird that before bed and in the morning that I only had to brush my teeth. 

January ended pretty well for me too :D 

The fact that I am now happily to say that I have been single for a whole year.

To all the broken hearted girls out there, we don't need a guy to make us happy ;D 

Not that I am broken hearted anymore, but just so you know ;)

So really if you wanna know what I am really up to, 

Just follow me on twitter and my instagram is constantly updated ;) 

Instagram user - jiann17.

Feel free to just follow me :) 

And I promise I'll try to update this site more effectively. 

And school been miserable. 

11 weeks, 5 subjects and my last semester in KL.

Random question from mom this afternoon; 

"What will you miss the most in KL? The food or the people?"

I'll miss all the noise, teasing and annoying each other we do at home. Definitely will miss all the funny text I sent to you and how we always bitch on iMessage, Saturday night dinner, screaming at San, burning time talking to JT and spending time with Kevang :) 

I really don't think I'll miss much of the food; definitely will miss the people ;) 

Goodbyes, Broken Hearts & Moving On

This post goes out to all the broken hearted soul out there.

I have been getting quite a bit of text messages from different people pouring their feelings out. A very close friend of mine just caught her self in a post break up situation. Another friend caught up in a really complicated relationship. Not close enough to be couples, but a whole lot of trouble lies in the friendship.

Advice?

I really don't know what to say. You might think I am tough because I managed to survived one in the past, but really? When it comes to a broken heart, no words are comforting enough and no arms are as reassuring as the ones that left you behind. The irony in life.

As I was talking to her yesterday, she kept asking me what can she do? How can she move on? How is she ever going to love again? The thing about moving on is that there's really no formulae to that. The first step is to pack up the room, whatever that reminds you of the past will go into a box. Where the box end up, is really up to you. Orphanage, rubbish dump, in your closet. Anywhere as long as you're happy that you don't get reminded of the past.

Then, a relationship is not mostly made of materials. Those memories that come back after haunting you. How are you ever going to sleep? The point is that you'll never get good sleep. I can't even remember how many nights I quickly go to bed before everyone at home is asleep. Why? When you're alone at night in the darkness, that's when the loneliness pounce and try to get the best out of your soul. Even if you can sleep at night, you'll never wake up afresh. I can't remember how many nights I spent sleeping early and never felt afresh in the morning. All that I woke up to is tears and a very heavy chest. This is the phase in life that you dread going to bed. For most people, this is also the time you lose the most weight in your life. I actually lost 4kg in 3 weeks. To look at it in a more positive way, thank the heart breaker for making you hotter. There's really no need to work out to lose those flabs in the tummy, thighs or arms.

The worst damage a break up can do to an individual is taking away all the self esteem. You'll feel as though you're unwanted, dumped and unloved. This is definitely not true. Your mind is so focused on the break up and the one that left, that's why you're feeling that way. In this situation, you'll really learn to see who is left behind by your side. These are then the treasures in life. They might be people you barely talk to, people you avoid having eye contacts with, but with just that "Hey, I heard about the break up. Are you doing fine?" That's what opens up all the locks you have chained your soul with. I know it's not easy opening up to people, but when your soul is so vulnerable and broken, what is there to lose some more?

Why did the relationship come to an end? Why didn't it work out? Does it really matter anymore? Especially when they are so stern and left you without any explanation. The thing I learn about whats the reason behind the break up is that there's really no excuse. At 21, a few friends have gone through breaking up and most of the reasons are feelings fade. Why do feelings fade? What was it lacking in the relationship? Maybe it's time to look at it this way, it's not those that left behind that's not good enough, it's when the other half is asking for more. The key point in a relationship is that you're not supposed to try too hard. I am not saying that you shouldn't try, but not too hard. There's a fine line between determination and desperate. 

When will I ever be okay? When will I be able to be myself again? This question is one of the hardest one to answer. Everyone is different. Everyone will take a different time to get over all these feelings. The most important point is give yourself sometime off. A good getaway or cleansing is needed before you can really move on. By cleansing I don't mean by washing your body. Cleansing by crying your heart out, talking your heart out, hugging all the people that assure you are okay, and start searching for the person you are before all this trauma happened. Besides time off, remember never to rush yourself. Never try too hard too. When it happens it happens. Sometimes you actually move on before you even know. I moved on and I didn't know that until a friend told me. That's when you think you can start being on your own. 

All my effort for the past years have gone to a waste. I just wasted all my time. Dear, no time is considered wasted if you enjoyed the times. You might think all your effort is gone, but hey, without this person you'll never learn. You'll never know what you can't tolerate in your future partner. You'll never know what's the most important thing you look for in the one. So don't take it as a waste of life, take it as a learning process. 

Remember, after the rain comes the rainbow :) Sooner or later you'll see the good in the goodbye just like me.

Lots of love,

Ann.

My CookBook @ Sunway Giza

Brunch with Celine Chen <3

Was supposed to go for manicure together this afternoon. 

But ended up the manicurist had some emergency :(

Had to reschedule to tomorrow.

GAH! I should really stay home and study :( 

Manicure really sounded more appealing than studying :( 

Nevertheless, we had some good bonding time over lunch :D 

Life, relationships and leaving KL.

I really don't know what cuisine this place serves, 

The menu says Modern Malaysian Food. 

Fried Mashed Potato with Cheese. 

It's something like the Fried Mac and Cheese in TGIF.

Just no mac but replaced with mashed potatoes. 

We both personally think this was better than ones in TGIF.

Not too filling.

Dry Curry Noodles. 

This was good, the portion is big :O 

We shared and we didn't manage to finish it :( 

The chicken was good (Y)

So give it a try whenever you guys are at Sunway Giza.

Life Lesson Learnt:

It's cruel to leave without a note. 

I have actually made a change in decision, 

To inform everyone when I'll be leaving end of this year. 

& I don't know if you're reading this, but i'll miss you a lot, lesbo partner :( 

Can I pack you in my luggage?